I Am Finding More Contentment in Jesus These Days

“But as it is, Christ has obtained a ministry that is as much more excellent than the old as the covenant he mediates is better, since it is enacted on better promises.” Hebrews 8:6

I have not appreciated everything about growing older, like achy joints or hearing loss. I have to explain my preaching references these days because they are rooted in 90’s culture, and young adults have no idea what I’m talking about because they were not even born. Yet, there are certain things I have enjoyed about growing older, like my coffee in the morning, an excellent book, or a good conversation with a close friend. These things can bring such joy. I have found that I appreciate life a little more these days. I am learning to not be as task-orientated but to slow down and appreciate the little moments. I enjoy Jesus more these days, too. It’s been thirty years since I placed my faith in the Prophet from Nazareth. For the last twenty-five years, I have preached His worth and His life as I have followed His call to “follow me, and I will make you fishers of men” (Matthew 4:19). Yet now, more than ever, I am strangely satisfied with who He is, where He has me, and what He has in store for my future. And I agree with the writer of Hebrews—I believe the promises of Jesus are better.

I say that I am “strangely satisfied” with Jesus because that has not always been the case in my life. If we are honest with ourselves, often we would have to admit more dissatisfaction with Jesus than satisfaction. Many times, Jesus has been more of a spiritual idea or a means to an end. I want to go to heaven, so He is my ticket there. I hate to admit it, but for much of my Christian experience, Jesus has been no more than someone who stands on the train and punches my ticket to heaven. Often, I have seen Him as only a transactional figure who can exchange my guilt for His grace and my doubt for His assurance. But lately, I am finding He is so much more! He is so much better than I ever could imagine. Recently, I discovered a quote by John Piper in his book, Eternal Life, which clearly and profoundly summarizes my feeling these days about Jesus. Piper writes, “Many are willing to believe in Christ if he remains a merely spiritual reality. But when we preach that Christ has become a particular man in a particular place, issues particular commands and dying on a particular cross exposing the particular sins of our particular lives, then the preaching ceases to be acceptable to many.” For so long in my life, I have loved Jesus, but not everything about Him. I have loved some of His commands, but not all of them. Yet now, I yearn to hear from Him more and more. I am ready to let Jesus be Jesus.

I find myself at this juncture as wisdom is beginning to pull back the façade of foolishness, especially in my spiritual life. My life as a pastor and disciple has not always been about following and seeking after Jesus for the glory of the Father. A lot of my life has been about chasing after other things, good things, but petty things in light of the glory of Jesus. I have chased after recognition, approval, accomplishments, better and bigger programs for the churches I have served. I have built bigger barns to hold the “trophies” I have collected, thinking that all of it would satisfy. I have repeatedly said that it was “all for the glory of God.” But sadly, much was done to build my kingdom. It’s scary to admit but also very freeing. We can strive so hard to have the best life possible and yet miss the treasure of Jesus.

So, I have decided that Jesus, and only Jesus, is enough for me. I have gained an appreciation for the words of scholar and theologian N.T. Wright. In his book, Simply Jesus, Wright states, “We have reduced the kingdom of God to private piety, the victory of the cross to comfort for the conscience, and Easter itself to a happy, escapist ending after a sad, dark tale. Piety, conscience, and ultimate happiness are important, but not nearly as important as Jesus himself.”  Jesus has given me so much. Every spiritual gift I have, He has given. My beautiful wife and children, He has given. My calling, ministry, and every opportunity to preach His Word and the power to do it, He has given. Friends, I am finding that Jesus really is enough, and it is one of the most freeing feelings in the world! There are many things to chase after in this world, but none compare with Jesus. He really is enough!